Keeps getting worse, 180 not working

[Buxom]

Have you heard the expression, "Wherever you go, there you are."? My same old brain has followed me here. Funny how yesterday I felt calm, focused, independent and safe emotionally and now here I am trying to rediscover how I did that yesterday.

Day two started with the same anxiety I left home with. These few days are for me to start changing a number of old, stupid habits... codependent, fears, thought patterns and work on detachment. I will admit to feeling disappointed that I did not get a text from WH since I left, guess I wanted one... so add "no expectations" to the list! Anything from him will be a surprise and hopefully a good one. I guess we get so used to living with and within one another that thoughts and action become intertwined. It's amazing how he seems to have turned the "us" part off or turned it around in such a way that I cannot. I just have to find my switch. Today, during my reading and thinking, I will write out what resonates with and what helps.