Detaching.....nearly there..

[Surfer]

Surprising bout of anxiety at the moment. Spoke to my wife and have not seen the kids for quite a while (how sad I just realised I took them to the cinema only 48 hours ago - it seems like a lifetime ago). I am basically really missing them all. Closeness with my wife in particular. We are going to speak later about me having more time with the kids prior to her taking them on holiday with her friends. This fills me with dread/anxiety as I would desperately would love to be going with them on holiday - but it would definitely be a disaster at the moment. We are both still struggling to talk well.

Conversation was good earlier though - although she did have a little grumble about me thinking negatively about her kindness in ensuring I have time with the kids (basically she was assuming that I was expecting her to be cake eating - however she was guessing and I wasn't really thinking that). I just let her grumble/comment slide and thanked her for thinking of me.

Lots of overthinking all round I guess. I crave a straight forward relationship with her. One with easy conversation etc. I am not sure we have ever really had this though. We definitely have had bouts of this but I think there has often been strain.

One thing I could do with help on is setting boundaries in terms of the nit picking, grumbling, complaints that seem to be about 'picking a fight'. Historically I have presumed that my wife is doing just that. Perhaps however my WW is actually not doing this, perhaps she's just sad and is trying to express how she feels about how I see her. Perhaps then I should reassure her that I don't see her like this? I get confused how to handle this - or should I say I don't like all this nit-picking please stop it. Perhaps though it's best not to overthink? Just be happy and focus is on the positives.