Exile, can you not post more often? I think it would really help in getting you more responses.

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There is no OM involved as far as I am aware. Her life is very simple. She doesn't go out and just looks after the kids and goes to work. She is however, a planner. I also think that she enjoys things the way they are. We live separately but meet up to have family time and I am around if she needs help or just someone to chat to. If I move on, all this would stop so I wonder if she has to suffer some losses to really appreciate what she had.


You think?

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The only way she could reel me back in would be to stop the divorce and agree to work on the marriage.


Reel you in? She's had you since the get-go.

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. So far, nothing has changed for her. She still lives in the house and I still pay the mortgage and give her money for the children. I am still around and there is no threat from anyone else. She has the best of both worlds. She has mentioned that she no longer wants a sexual relationship with a man again which I find hard to believe but she seems content with being on her own.


I could use your situation as a model illustration of what I have tried to get LBH'S to see.
You gave the remedy yourself, but fail to see it, so I will show it again. "So far, nothing has changed for her". .

She has lost nothing except sexual intimacy with you..........and she doesn't consider that a loss, b/c she doesn't want it. So, open your eyes and see how she has the perfect setup. Perfect for her, that is. Why would she want to change anything when it's just the way she likes it now?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!