Ok so running this through my mind ....I say to Wife ok I am not going to do this any longer tell her I have asked an estate agent to come arround to give us a valuation on (or rather to give me a valuation) with the view to selling.
I tell her I will be speaking with a solicitor to find out my legal position and I move forward with selling ...she has already told me that when the house sells she will file for divorce
So she is totally free to go out with whoever she wants date bring anyone home to her house and live 100% apart from me build a new life without me I don't want this to happen ..Do I sound controlling ....I do not want my W to move on from me ....do I sound needy
So I am needy and controlling and scared to build a life without my W sound about right
I am [censored]
She has left the marriage yet I still cling on to hope and the past ...time to watch some,YouTube ted,talk
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Ok so running this through my mind ....I say to Wife ok I am not going to do this any longer tell her I have asked an estate agent to come arround to give us a valuation on (or rather to give me a valuation) with the view to selling.
I tell her I will be speaking with a solicitor to find out my legal position and I move forward with selling ...she has already told me that when the house sells she will file for divorce
So she is totally free to go out with whoever she wants date bring anyone home to her house and live 100% apart from me build a new life without me I don't want this to happen ..Do I sound controlling ....I do not want my W to move on from me ....do I sound needy
So I am needy and controlling and scared to build a life without my W sound about right
I am [censored]
She has left the marriage yet I still cling on to hope and the past ...time to watch some,YouTube ted,talk
Nope. All of that is a waste of energy.
What you need to be doing is these things instead:
Working at your weight loss (which apparently has been your goal for a year now....) Going out and getting a life - how are the dance classes coming? How are the tennis outings going? Working to improve your relationships with your children - how are things going with your oldest? With the baby?
Hi G. Completely agree with Darkness You do things for you. If you need to inform W then ok but only if you need to
This is all about G now.
Do things for G and his kids. Don't donthings to effect of influence W
G , I know how your feeling , I really do mate. But Ive accepted my M is over and it's hurts but it's my reality Accepted yours and moving forward Life can always change and maybe your W will change her mind one day BUT that's a maybe you can't live your life hoping for
Just my thoughts G. We all want you to live your life and enjoy it We can offer encouragement , ideas and support but it's G who can make it happen
Been away for a few days with three of my kids and not due to go back home till tomorrow
Had fun but cannot help missing home life and I miss the W
I did text her tell her the. Kids were fine and I want to tell her I miss her but I haven't
I have noticed that she is cold towards me in conversation she seems to be distancing herself further from me at times not making eye contact showing no feelings and I fight struggle to do the same I keep wanting to try and keep the connections and stay close....the further we seem to get the more I feel hopeless to ever making this any better she knows what I want and everything she is doing is nothing more than a choice ....why do people fight for a relationship marriage ...what is the point
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Hi Ghost, I'm glad you got away for a few days with the kids. Have a think about pursuit and distance dynamics. Your W is distancing just now. Are you in pursuit? If you are, you can influence this dynamic with your own actions potentially - ie: if you pursue, she may distance further. However, if you let go of your need to pursue and keep that connection, she may stop distancing...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi G. Holiday sounds good Not sure what else to say Why do people chase after an R ? Love , fear of being alone , lots of reasons. This isn't about people , this is about you. Why do you still want to be with W ? You've mentioned your fear of a new R but you are already thinking about one , or contemplating one anyway
Right now , today , if you met W , would you want to be with her ?
This is your life G , you only get one ( I think ) , live it , yes its tough right now because your losing a lot but stop looking at what you haven't / won't have and look at what you have
Your a dad , you have your health , you work , etc. To a large amount of people you are very lucky. I know it's not easy and I'm not saying get over it but I am saying deal with it and move forward
RD I appreciate your comment immensely and it came at a really good time for me.
W:32 M:26 T:5 yrs M: 3 yr BD: JUN 2016 W Moved out: early JUL 2016 W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016 EA: 06/16? PA: 07/16 Moved in w/ ow: 07/16 D final: 10/16
Ginger you make a very good point ...surprisingly and quite pleasantly I have not missed my W as much as I thought I would perhaps I missed the fact that I was away without her sharing the time with me and our children but this is her choice I missed the fact that I was not spending time with her
I am afraid that I am starting to accept what is happening and I am afraid that I could actually cope with what is happening
I know when I go home tomorrow and I see her then my feelings will get stirred up again.
It almost feels like I should be still hugely upset and for me not to be upset feels wrong not sure if this makes any sense
If I met her today then yes I would be attracted to her looks but not to the person that she is or how she is treating me
Thank you for hearing me
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
