I took some time to read up on your sitch... Your H is really something else. If nothing else, he's allowing you the opportunity to show yourself what your truly made of... grit? perhaps?
I almost see your H's actions as that of a very conflicted person, he does one thing, says one thing, then feels guilt and remorse at the same time (kind words, hair stroking, etc)... and then lies about it all... Or maybe he's just that bad of a person that he doesn't realize he's doing anything wrong... either way, you're actions show that of a very strong woman.
I know what you mean on the OW conversation... After I confronted my W of EA/OM, she lied, screamed, yelled, etc... the whole deal, which was expected. It came up a couple times since then that SHE will never be able to trust ME again (granted, I had no affair, or ever anything close to it), and I would mention softly, "you can't trust me? are you still talking to OM?" and she would lie right to my face. I'd go inside, log into our phone bill and say "isn't this his number" and it would turn into a "YOU DONT KNOW SH1T BLAH BLAH BLAH"... the next time it'd come up, she'd lie again, and again... it just baffles me the mindset of someone in WAS fog... I don't bring it up at all, and it only comes up if she says something about it, and I just nod and say "okay"... just like you.
Anyways, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It's a horrible thing, and I wish the best to you. Stay strong, Cherry.
