Out of in house S - On My Own (11)

[vise82]

Hey,

Looks like I might have to go out of my way to avoid driving past W street.

I did drive past her street as it is on my way to work and this morning as I have the kids I could see she was not home. This is early in the morning so she was overnight somewhere.

This created anxiety as to where the heff is this all going. Thought of her with another man, thought of I wish she would divorce me before doing that. Thoughts of asking her straight up about it.

I held off did nothing and will drive the long way to work now.

At some point something has to give though. I have pulled right back and she has not come closer. I am not sure if I want her closer in my mind, of course my heart tell of a different story.

DBing is doing what works, for keeping me sane what I have been doing is working great. For having a better R with W it is not.

Maybe having no R is the key. All I know is my life is marginally better. I need to give it more time. I continue to stay away. Do my own thing. Time is going by way to fast right now. By the time I get my boys I can see they have grown.

Again I say that I need to focus on what I need to get done. But I am finding it hard to just get the basics done. To look after the two boys and house. I am slipping a bit with all that.

one day at a time.