Uncharted Waters

[2Times2Many]

Bright, yes H did lie or at the least, wasn't completely truthful. I thought he was being vague and shrugged it off like I do most of the stuff he keeps to himself about his activities until BIL started in on me about H lying to hide something and speculating about whether H stayed out all night. I was already skeptical of some things H had said during the previous couple of days but was choosing not to delve into it. BIL pushed my buttons and I reacted.

HaWho, I agree there are a lot of fluctuations with H's behavior and it really doesn't surprise me. I didn't like the intensity of his reaction, but it wasn't entirely unexpected. He actually said he regretted his reaction and asked me if I thought he had a right to be angry and I told him yes. As for the in-laws, I think my R with them has come to an end.

Job, "surprised" is an understatement. What I've learned has me completely stunned.

H came to the house last night and said he wanted to talk to me about some of the things BIL told me because he wanted to see if some of my "melt-downs" corresponded to BIL's interference.

He never got to that though. Instead he told me that one of the things BIL had told him (on several occasions) was to carefully watch the finances because BIL suspected I was pilfering money from the business. He then talked about the things BIL was telling me at the same time about H hiding funds or trying to sell the company without my knowledge.

He also said that while BIL was telling me I should buy out H, he was telling H that he should buy me out and get rid of me.

I knew BIL was up to no good, but I had no idea how deep or serious it was. I never imagined BIL was that conniving and underhanded.

H said, "2T, I don't get it. Why would he do this? What was his motive? What did he think he would gain?"

We talked a lot about it, but didn't come up with anything more than speculation about things like ego, lust for power, jealousy of H or our success, etc. I don't think we will ever know the answers to H's questions.

H said he wasn't happy about the way things happened but he thought it was all for the best.

We also got the issue about the previous morning straightened out, then went to dinner and had a pleasant evening.

About 45 minutes after I got home (while I was typing a post) H showed up and asked if he could spend the night here. Of course, I said yes.

FIL kicked him out. They had a huge argument. FIL said some incredibly nasty things to H and accused him not taking care of his B and meeting his "family obligations." He tried to get H to say he would take BIL back and H said no. FIL tried the guilt route saying BIL had a family to support and now had no job, no insurance, etc. H stood his ground. FIL called H some perfectly awful names. It was ugly.

We talked for a couple of hours about what had happened. Well, he talked. I mostly listened. H expressed feelings about his upbringing and his R with his family (particularly his Dad), going back many, many years. Most of what he said I've heard bits and pieces of for many years so there wasn't much that he said that surprised me. He talked as though his R with his family was over, saying he said goodbye to his Mom before he left and he knew he'd not see her again.

This is the scenario that I feared would happen once BIL's antics came to light ... a family torn apart and H taking the brunt of the blame. In his parents eyes, BIL is totally innocent in all this and has done nothing wrong. Sadly, H is the "bad guy" ... always has been and always will be in his F's eyes.

I'm trying to keep in mind that although H is hurt and bitter right now, time has a way of healing wounds and hopefully he and his Dad can get back to a state of tolerance some day.

H seemed calm this morning. I wished him a good day when he left for the office and he said he was going to have a great day and was looking forward to the dinner I'm making for him tonight.

I'm just astonished at how things can change in the blink of an eye.

Me? I'm doing fine. I'm saddened by the whole sitch, but other than be supportive and compassionate toward H, I don't see that there's anything I can do.

I do feel some responsibility for bringing all this to light, but I just couldn't keep quiet any longer. I feel like H needed to know what BIL thought of him. He needed to know that BIL was not trustworthy, not reliable, had no respect for H, was not supportive of his business plans and didn't have his back. (Turns out BIL felt the same toward me.) I don't like what has happened and wish with all my might it could have been handled differently. But I don't regret speaking the truth and opening H's eyes to his B's duplicity which was much worse than I ever imagined.