qt4, I can see your feeling emotional now (at the time of writing anyways)... i can tell you there are many stages of grief when going through these phases of an LBS (have you read the posts on here about phases?)...
It's going to continue for a while, I consider myself very detached, but i still find myself in hard times when a new realization comes about. the 'acceptance' of the D is one thing, then the 'reasoning' is another. then 'understanding' and so on... for me i think i've had an additional one lately in that i'm not even sure if my W was the right person to begin with... one that I'm still struggling with today and working with my IC on..
it's good you're continuing your meetings, and anytime "acceptance" is on the plate of someone hurting from something like this... it's going to hit hard... it's okay to cry, men cry, don't be ashamed of it. keep working on yourself, I'm not sure if you're a reader, but there are books on acceptance and detaching that are based on eastern philosophy that might help out a bit. I'd link them but they'd probably get flagged and removed.
Enjoy the UFC fights, it's something new, and more importantly, it's socialization. I'm not a fan either, but I've watched lots of UFC in the past 2 months because it's a fun "guy's night". hang in there qt4, you're doing just fine.
