The lie continues...

[CT1118]

All fair questions darkness.

1. The weight - I was not too overweight, but at the max of the spectrum and I still looked good, but the weight was from beer and lack of exercise. I am 41 and my goal is college graduation weight: 192-198, I am at 203 right now and also working on muscle definition.
2. Drugs - many here discuss facing what you did to contribute to a separation. I have a chronic headache condition that Oxy was prescribed for. For many years I could go on/off it at will according to my headache cycle. Until I couldn't. I hid the pills from her for 1.5 years and when I realized she was having an affair, I knew right away they had to go and I threw them into the garbage disposal. Want a big challenge in life - quit Oxy cold turkey. Sure enough, she ID'd that as a primary reason for the demise which built up to her terrible and selfish decision (she could have helped me, but that the past now).
3. Dress better - My wardrobe was outdated. My WW and I are both very good looking people, but I always dressed like a slacker, it bothered her. When she left, I bought new clothes to see what would happen in my life in the outside world. I noticed I felt better, strangers and friends complimented me, other men at work began taking me more seriously - all positive so I'm keeping it up, it makes ME feel better.
4. Writing - goals was to publish one or two articles this summer. Both got rejected, but not a full rejection. I was asked to tweak them which I am currently doing. Also writing myself a journal to stay sane.
5. Volunteer - goal was to put in 50 hours this summer. It has been met.
6. When you are on Oxy, you slip so far into yourself that the rest of the world annoys you. Shamefully and sadly I ignored my W and my son. No more. I am doing this by talking with him, taking an interest in his interest, and really smiling at the little way he makes me happy.
7. New activity - yes plan was to do something recreational and fun for myself at least once a week. Been achieving that. Will continue that.
8. Talk to random people - when you are introverted and have ADHD, the idea of speaking to new people at a business conference, approaching a woman at a bar and just talking, or speaking to a fellow airplane passenger are all very intimidating to the point it does not happen. I began actively putting myself in situations to do things like this (I do not go to bars often and am not there to hook up, but I did have to try to approach women a few times just to get over the fear, while I didnt seek to take them home the confidence boost was great). Now after months of this, I am really pretty good at. I intend to continue, it feels good.
9. IC/ADHD - yes, goals are to continue council and to learn ways to deal with my thoughts which will not force me to stay on medication. ADHD is for life, I dont want the medicine to be.
10. Great question. First GAL goal is to continue what I am doing above. Next one is that I am finishing my masters degree by next spring. Along w that is to improve time management while doing the degree (this was a big one - poor time+stress from grad school+ drug abuse= my contribution to WW). I see myself maintaining my status as role model man. I am successful professionally, I am in great shape and look good, I am getting healthier mentally. I want to be comfortable alone, as an individual and I am getting there. All my life I have had a GF or a W, never a long period w/out. I am going to keep being me on my own. If the WW wants back in, great I will work w/her, if not I am still going to be great.