A quote from you: "The first loss the wayward should experience is her H. When everything is laid out and she starts with the usual BS of not seeing a future with him, etc., he should start immediately in pulling away. He needs to do it to the degree she feels his absence in her everyday life. And it is important that the H does not make any grand announcements about his intentions. He doesn't talk. He acts. He doesn't tell her what he's doing, he just does it."
So when I posted all this yesterday and was asking about telling her I know the affair continues and I need to stop the day to day stuff from her - I was looking to be tough, but I believe it hit the "grand announcement" you speak of. So yesterday afternoon I began the 180 in conversation with being polite, using Wonka's assertive techniques, but not giving too much info. I was told I was being weird and asked whats wrong each time. I responded that I feel great and nothing's wrong. This morning she called to ask about sharing visitation for the week with our son. She was trying to wrangle a full weekend out of me and I stood firm and told her I was happy with the current arrangement. I was told again that something was wrong with me and I have seemed off or weird lately. Then she said she had to go before I could (I was getting ready too, but she beat me to it). Is that a sign I may be doing it correctly - that it is confusing her - or am I doing it wrong by her thinking I'm weird?
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
