Hi Surfer - I would imagine your ongoing dynamic - she says, you need, should, must, - you look like 'hey I'm not listening' could lead to more of the same. She may feel the need to emphasise more what you should, must do etc.

It sounds like a boundary issue to me - is: her speaking to you in that way isn't okay with you. Are you able to dig deep and deal with it assertively and pleasantly. For example: next time she says - you must do X or should do Y....could you say to her - Hey, I know you only want the best for the kids, but it gets on my nerves when you drop them off and say I should, must do things etc. If you want to ask me to take care of something ASK me, or drop me a note to request that. When I feel your tone gets bossy, I just switch off.

My Dad (whom I help a lot with looking after my Mum) sometimes has the tone of a headmaster, which really gets on my nerves. Recently he said to me - Sotto, I need you to do X for me (in that tone.) And I was really annoyed. I didn't manage to come straight back at him, but I did think about things and spoke to him about it later. I said, I'm always happy to do things to help, I just don't like being asked in that tone. He did do it again at some point - and I quipped straight back - I'm always happy to help if you ask nicely! And he caught himself and said - oh yes, sorry...

Hope this helps a little anyway smile

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus