Hi Surfer, on the whole 'who does what with the kids' - I think that is a boundary issue and rather than letting yourself be reeled in and angry, you can let her know that when it's your time, you'll choose how that works. Really, that is a consequence of her decision - that when you S, you don't get to 100% control what happens in your family - you release part of that to the other parent.

In terms of your aspirations, the 50/50 sounds reasonable and I'm sure that is the place to raise that. However (and apologies) I'm not sure of the age of your kids. I don't think no contact is possible and I don't believe raising that will be productive. Rather than pursue that avenue, I think it is best to work on yourself to the point that her actions don't impact you emotionally so much. Going forwards, you can choose to minimise contact, but if you have younger kids together, I don't think NC as a specified agreement is really practical.

From what you post, it sounds as though you are somewhat giving away your power to her and you want to never see her again in order that this stops. I think it would be best instead to work on your own side of the fence in order that the coparenting relationship can work constructively going forwards.

JMHO of course Surfer and I hope this helps a little my friend smile

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus