Lost at the moment (2)

[lfm]

Feeling kind of down tonight. Wife decided at the last minute to take my three youngest daughters to visit her mother, which is 4 hours away. This should be a good thing, get some spearation from each other.

Unfortunatley, I took this as an opportunity to snoop a bit, as I've been confused by the behavior I've seen from her recently of no texting and no phone calls. (Bad lfm...)

Anyway, looks like a week ago WW wished the OM well on his vacation off the grid. This tells me that nothing at all has changed between them, although I found text messages from each of them that they need to let each other go, that they don't have time for each other, etc.

I don't believe any of that of course, I'm sure it's just games between the two of them, but doesn't make me feel any better. WW will be back sometime on Friday, so I'm sure she'll take off one night over the weekend, which is fine. I don't really care any more. Like I said in teh above post, I see myself becoming more of an WAS with each one of these instances. I don't see my W ever returning in a way that I want her to, and at this point I'm focused on taking care of myself and trying to be a light for the kids as we move into the new house this next week.

I may consult with a L this next week since I'll have time off just to get an understanding of where I stand and what I need to be thinking about in terms of us potentially heading for a D. I'm not planning on filing any time soon, as I know I need to exhibit patience with this whole thing, but with a new house, the kids, mutliple vehicles, and my W not having a full time job right now, I definitely need to start thinking about protecting my interests outside of the GAL and taking care of myself activiites I've been doing.

Hope everyone else is hanging in there. I know I'll feel better in the morning, it's just finding that stuff this evening that is making feel a bit down.