My wife walked out 3

[RSG]

Ginger, that's a good observation. She is VERY dependent on me in certain situations. She's definitely an independent THINKER, but in terms of actions? Not really. I always called places, whether it was the doctor, school, therapist, ordering food over the phone. Me. Always.

She's always been one to depend on my advice and judgments. I made the bigger decisions, and I handled money. Politically, she's very pro-independent woman but in day to day life she likes the safety of traditional gender roles.

I hear what you're saying. I'm trying to fight my urges, and keep in mind I'm not a H helping his W right now. I think I take a couple steps forward and then one back, but I'm working. I do also think she finds excuses to chat, but I don't do much chatting anymore I just listen. And while I may read texts, I try not to respond very quickly if at all.

Cnut, I know you're in a rough spot right now. Just wanted to throw out a little thank you! You may be right about the validation. "I know you're worried about him, because I know you're a worrier and he was scared. But, I'm swamped at work and don't really have time to call. They are very open to talking about his day so if you want to...."

Cbt, I do see/hear the respect coming out. Like I mentioned above, I do slip a little when I take a couple steps forward but I'm moving in a positive direction. She sent a bunch of texts about an apt, talking about reducing her contributions to S tuition, and additional garbled info. Called once, texted more....finally got home and she called again. I pick up because I don't understand any of this lol. She says "we" have to look at this apt it's $XYZ, but I'd need to reduce on tuition. As she's talking she realizes all her info is wrong, and the whole thing is moot. She then asks if I called school about what's up with his naps (she picked him up today, talked with teacher and he's not napping well. If he doesn't want to nap, he does things to stay up, gets loud and won't listen.) I said yes, and told the teacher an idea. W didn't think of this but my idea was to give him milk at nap time so he has a full tummy. They don't use sippy cups in his class because they can get dirty. I said we could bring in a fresh one, clean it at night and bring back. Teacher said cool, I'll run it by Director. I said I would too when I pick him up.

Scares me that W didn't think of this, it's so simple. But, she's just now getting out of what I'd call mediocre Mom. Also, I wanted to ask why she couldn't just tell me what the teacher told her but that's something she's been awful at for a long time. (See above) Then we chat for a minute about this weekend. She wants me to keep him Th night, F and her pick him up S so she can spend the day with her folks who're coming on a day trip. She wants her folks to park at my house and pickup S. I'm apprehensive about this and haven't said yes/no (ie her parents using my house as a parking lot). She wants to drop him off in the evening because Su morning she's going to church. (Big positive surprise there. If true.)

Couple things: There is no WE in getting an apartment. I'm not ready for her to move back in, but we're separated. I'm not an ATM. Now, if her choices are roach motel and home, then I'll adjust tuition ratio because S doesn't deserve that. That's it. I've set pretty good boundaries, and I don't initiate conversation at all but realize I can pull back more and I'm working on it.