Mozza's own success story

[Mozza]

Routine update...

I went to a wedding this weekend, the second marriage of a friend. I had attended the first too. I didn't think much about my own failed marriage. I wasn't sad, nor cynical. It was beautiful and I was honored to make a short speech.

Last week, I had to sign some D papers again because our lawyer had made a minor error. When I arrived, it turned out that STBX had gone earlier in the day to sign. I was a tad upset she didn't tell me, but then again I focused on the positive result, which was not seeing her.

I had a bit of a tense text exchange with STBX on Friday. I thought I was right but after reflection, I just texted "sorry" and she said "no problem and thanks for letting me know". I only wanted to move on and it worked.

She wrote me about her small health problem again. I'm not sure why she updates me on this. Perhaps because when it first came up, she feared it would be a bigger issue and now she feels she has to keep me up to date. I can't say it bothers me. I replied politely.

I saw D8 with OM at the pool but they didn't see me and I avoided them. I feel guilty avoiding my daughter to avoid him. Another sign I'm not over it.

I'm back on the dating scene. I have flashbacks of last year, before I met ex-New Girl. It's fun and I feel that I'm getting better at it, but it doesn't mean it's not work. It's like the gym: it's always efforts, even if you practice.

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Vapo | Thanks for the clarification. It sounds like you know what's good for you and that dating is not really in the picture until you find the right one. I quite agree about avoiding crappy relationships...

stacey9 | Thanks! I usually prefer to avoid talking about STBX. This weekend, I ended up talking more than usual about her because I met friends who supported me at BD and that I hadn't seen since. I was keen to share my experience with them, but then I felt the presence of BD and STBX for days afterwards. Also, I think people sense our pain and resentment more than we realize when we talk about it, even "neutrally".

raliced | I'm sorry your thoughtful post disappeared! You're right that it should be obvious that I can't be over it all in less than two years. I've been looking for a way to describe this intermediate stage, after the paralyzing pain but before it's all digested. I'm no longer controlled by the S, but I've to admit it's still on my mind. A friend told me he took 3 years to get over a 5-year relationship and yet he was the one who left.

mahhhty | I'm glad my experience can be an inspiration! That's one major reason to share life post-D and I learn a lot reading others too. And I'm not a water kind of guy so I'll have to look for other activities!