Third time's a charm, I hope.

[roist]

I love that card game analogy. So simple yet so true. We need to be able to determine how we interaction/react regardless of how our spouses play the game. It is within our control, though early on this does not seem possible.

Don't get pulled into questioning if they deserve to be treated well. This is about how you want to BE/ACT and is independent of the other person. An important part of this is how you treat yourself too. You need to ensure you treat yourself with respect and accept no less from others.

Our spouses not loving us is hurtful but is not disrespectful in itself.They are not capable of that right now. Disrespect should not be accepted whether the R is loving or not. The lbs needs to realise they are independent of each other.

Thanks for repasting this analogy. I had not seen it in a while and it rings true.

Best wishes. I hope you follow the great wisdom and insight offered by wonka.