I'm new here and a little reluctant to give advice as someone who is going through the motions as well, and having little (okay, no) experience as the spouse who isn't trying to make things work. I'm also quite a bit younger and haven't read your full story, only this thread, so take everything with a grain of salt. I don't want to give false hope, only a perspective as a stranger on the Internet.
As a former military spouse, I also have letters between my husband and I, that were left behind in the separation. I've thought many times about sending them to him to let him do what he sees fit with them. I haven't at this point, because I'm afraid to make any moves at this point — but my reason for wanting to send them is partially because I'd like for him to remember the intense love we had for each other at one point, even if things don't work out. Her intentions may be entirely different since there is a child involved, but because you mention there are risqué letters involved as well makes me think her intentions don't lie there entirely.
Again, please take this with a grain of salt. Her intentions may be far off from what my personal intentions would be as someone who is trying to save the marriage, but I thought I would give my perspective as it hit close to home.
M 24 H 27 together 6 • married 3.5 BD round #3: 07/10/2016
