Third time's a charm, I hope.

[bodhi]

J,

Pllllft....forget all that self-defeating talk of divorce. That is not a good mindset to have if you truly want to save the M.

Thank you for the advice, and I know you are right. I am a big believer in positivity, and am trying so hard to keep faith. It is just so hard when I have nothing to go on. I know I'm not saying anything that anyone in this position has not thought before.

One thing that bothers me and turns my stomach: we have no children, we live separately already, the divorce agreement is in place and signed and delivered on my end. This leaves no reason for him to contact me.

I know the logical answer is that if he wants to contact me, he will find a reason. He is so stubborn, though, and never likes to show emotion or be the first to "give in," so to speak. The first separation, we only reconciled because I reached out to him in a phone call after months of barely any contact and asked if we could see each other after he softened a little bit in his text communication. I don't know what would have happened if I had been more passive. I know that action went against everything this community encourages, but it just so happened to work that time.

I know I'm thinking too far ahead, but what if he doesn't contact me at all, for weeks or months, other than to tell me the papers are filed? Obviously not tonight or within the coming weeks, but do I reach out at all? I can't imagine a scenario where it would be warranted, if I'm following the DB rules.

I know everyone feels their situation is unique, but I truly have the feeling that mine is in the sense that I know my H will not ever follow through with filing regardless if it's what he wants. To him, doing so just means taking a day off work without pay and going through the hassle of figuring it out. Even if divorce is something he truly wants, I know he would wait for me to just do it for him to avoid the hassle.

I'm at a loss.