Why did he sit in the therapy session on Friday and say that he thinks he wants to start working on things and then go to a party on Saturday where she was? Is he just a liar??
Me: 37 Husband: 35 Married 5 years, together 13 Daughter - 1 Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015 He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016 EA confirmed 6/1/16 PA confirmed 8/1/16
if he's similar to my WW its bc they are confused and tend to take the easy path when given options. I'd bet he's not even thinking that the two decisions are related (working on things and the party with OW) and very much at odds.
Go to the session on Thursday and see what shakes out of it. It's tough with a 1yr old, but find some time for yourself and try to clear your head. Easier said than done, but keep working on you and let him see what he's missing. I'm struggling with this right now but am encouraged by how strong a lot of the folks here have become. You can get there as well, and then you can teach me!
Stay strong!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
Hey SR, I would agree that looking at Facebook is about the worst thing you could do. I saw some awful post and then promptly closed my account. I didn't want to torture myself anymore; don't torture yourself anymore, stop looking on Facebook. As far as wanting to work on things and then going to a party, it seems like he is cake eating. Why should he not go to the party? He knows you aren't going anywhere anyway right? I know it's hard, but you have to start GAL. It is what will keep you focused on you and not on what he is doing.
Yeah I went out to dinner and had to pay $75 for a babysitter! Just because he doesn't live here anymore doesn't mean he shouldn't be contributing. I'm in anger mode tonight. He doesn't see the correlation between fixing our marriage and spending time with her. He's so smart - how does he not get it!!
Me: 37 Husband: 35 Married 5 years, together 13 Daughter - 1 Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015 He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016 EA confirmed 6/1/16 PA confirmed 8/1/16
Also the therapist told us to take this week and do a ton of soul searching, lists whatever we need to do and decide if we want to try to make our marriage work. Not necessarily get back together, but try to do some work. I'm deathly afraid that he's gonna come in on Thursday and say he doesn't, but I need to be prepared for that.
This might sound ridiculous, but how do you know if it's the right decision to try? How do I know that I miss him and I'm not just lonely? I tried to make pros and cons lists but they don't work. I can't put into words why I love him. Everything in me feels like I want to be with him but what if that's just me not wanting to be alone? Or me not wanting to see him with someone else? How do you truly know?
Me: 37 Husband: 35 Married 5 years, together 13 Daughter - 1 Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015 He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016 EA confirmed 6/1/16 PA confirmed 8/1/16
Also the therapist told us to take this week and do a ton of soul searching, lists whatever we need to do and decide if we want to try to make our marriage work. Not necessarily get back together, but try to do some work. I'm deathly afraid that he's gonna come in on Thursday and say he doesn't, but I need to be prepared for that.
Question - does it really matter what he says? He already told you he "wants to work on things", but you can see in his actions that hes not ready to actually put in the work. Keep your head down and work on staying stable and moving your life forward.
Originally Posted By: sr9e2d7
This might sound ridiculous, but how do you know if it's the right decision to try? How do I know that I miss him and I'm not just lonely? I tried to make pros and cons lists but they don't work. I can't put into words why I love him. Everything in me feels like I want to be with him but what if that's just me not wanting to be alone? Or me not wanting to see him with someone else? How do you truly know?
Honestly, it doesnt really matter the reason right now. You made a commitment, and at this time, you are fighting to stay committed to that commitment. Feelings change, so to base your long term decisions on what you may feel today is not going to get you anywhere.
All you can really do is focus on you and your child. Make your long term goals and decisions based on what you think is best for the two of you. Over time, you will discover if you think continuing to hope for a reconciliation fits in those plans.
I feel like this whole situation is a full time job. I'm so tired (also working full time and raising my daughter).
Me: 37 Husband: 35 Married 5 years, together 13 Daughter - 1 Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015 He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016 EA confirmed 6/1/16 PA confirmed 8/1/16
What are some suggestions for how I should act when we go back to counseling on Thursday? I can't believe anything he says right? Do I let him know that?
Me: 37 Husband: 35 Married 5 years, together 13 Daughter - 1 Bomb dropped - 12/28/2015 He's moving out (officially) - 4/15/2016 EA confirmed 6/1/16 PA confirmed 8/1/16
I hear you on the exhaustion! Right now I am working all day and coming home and solo parenting for a 5 yo a 3 yo and a 5 mo. Even my hair feels tired, lol. But just think of it like this, look at what we are accomplishing! We are freaking super women! If your H is still in an affair with someone then MC is not effective. At this point you must decide what your boundaries are and how to enforce them if your H crosses them.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
