You wrote this draft response: "If you wish that it would go any other way, there's no reason it has to go in the direction of a divorce. We can pay attention to this now, we can address this now. We can continue with a separation to give each other time and space, we can go to counseling to work on making sure these reoccurring issues do not keep happening. Everyone who is currently way too involved in our lives will eventually either forget or no longer be a part of our lives, but what you are proposing to do is permanent and affects the rest of our daily lives."
I can feel pressure just from reading it. It feels smothering. You are like a desperate woman clinging to H's pants.
When working with newbies, I counsel them to follow the general email/text scripts:
-KISS (Keep It Short and Simple) -Clear and concise -Ignore "white noise" for they will speak in absolutes -Leave your emotions out of it -Do not try to counter their points/arguments for it will make them dig into their heels -It is not about who's right or wrong. Respect their POV (Point of View) for it is how they see it/feel it right now. Doesn't mean it will always be this way
Your H feels the need to step away for now because of the intense exchanges and interactions you have had lately. Allow him the space for it is good for both of you. You need the space too, sweetie.
If you are able, try and see if you can schedule a session with a DB Coach.
