Progress is slow but does happen!

[AndrewP]

PacLove - one thing that I insisted on doing with my WW the day after BD was setting out ground rules. One of those was that she would not have OM on our property. The others were that I wouldn't contact OM, that I would stop snooping, and that I wouldn't do anything "stupid". There maybe were a couple of others that I don't remember but it was a very small list. She agreed with these and as far as I know abided by them.

I think it's more than reasonable that you set those boundaries. It's not "controlling" the way I saw it. It's two adults who essentially are room-mates setting up the new rules. If she needs to figure out some way to look after the dog that still allows her to see OM but not on your property - that's not your problem. If she doesn't agree with this, then she needs to make a counter-offer that is acceptable to you.

The A exists - you can't pretend it doesn't. That doesn't mean that it has to be a regular topic of conversation. In fact any time my WW brought up anything close to the A I would request that she change the subject.