The worst was when I was still with EX-WW in the same house. I see kids struggling now, as I get better. But I put on my oxygen mask first, and now am able to help the kids.
The farther I get away from the marriage, I see how broken my EX-WW is. How much work would be needed on her part. I have always known I needed to fix my side of the street... it's just that I WANTED to fix hers as well. I have gotten better at my personal focus. You will as well.
It helps to have my EX-WW's texts on mute - when they come in, I don't know. I respond when I have time and look at the phone later in the day. I set a boundary that she will never set foot in my condo, and that I do not want to talk with her face to face. It has stopped quite a bit of the spew. I pick up the kids by pulling the car up to the curb, and the kids jump in, or she drops them off in front of the condo.
Also, with time, I have realized I have trust issues. I will need time to heal the wound. The wound hurts still, esp. when I leave the kids for the 5 day stretch. Once the wound is healed, talking with her in person might be possible. The scar will always remain. My forgiving her will be when the scar is left, but the wound it closed.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
