Have I been making mistakes too long part 9

[tkdmme]

Thanks guys,

Although my last few posts have sounded depressed, im actually doing pretty good. I have been working a lot on my new projects and have been spending a lot of time working on the house doing some drywall and painting work. I also have had the kids more often than I used to. When the W first left she told me that I could have them every other weekend and on Wednesdays. I told her a few weeks ago after I had seen my lawyer that I wanted joint custody and that I had a good chance of receiving this. That is the point where she said she may consider moving back in.
Anyway, I have been able to have them more than usual and it has been great for all of us.

To answer the question about the alcohol, I just don't need it. I have been working through the emotions in a more healthy way. The drinking and craziness was just a phase and im glad its over. I don't know what changed but something just told me to stop the recklessness. I have since felt a lot better about myself. I am in control again. Not that I don't get sad pretty much every day. I am able to resist the urge to go out. I haven't been in a bar in a long time. I have even turned down a lot of piano jobs. I do need the money but I don't want to be in the bars.

I have been playing a lot at home and I have also dusted off the banjo and started playing it again. Im taking some online lessons. I am starting to enjoy life again. For a long time I didn't want to do any of the things that used to make me happy. For some reason playing music had lost its fun. I have also started teaching my S8 guitar. This has ben a real treat.

Just a recap of yesterday:
It was the W's birthday and she had a get together at her brothers house. I was scheduled to have the kids. She asked if she could have them for her birthday and I agreed. She told me about the get together and I jokingly said "Awesome! What time should I be there". The replied that I was not invited. So.. around lunch yesterday my SIL (her brothers W) texted me to invite me. I told her that the W didn't want me there. She said she was sorry and that they would miss me. After work W's brother called me to invite me and I told him that the W didn't want me there. He said that he hoped that my W would be more mature about things considering my children would expect me there. Anyway, I received a text from the W saying "im really sorry". I responded "for what". I didn't get a reply.

I know none of this makes sense but this whole thing made feel unwanted and used. If I had not received the calls from her family inviting me, I would have been fine. Its just awkward.