Cherry- operation sass!

[SH_]

Drive by hug for Cherry.

I have been keeping up quietly as you have great support and feedback from many here.

I felt the need to pop in as I was guilty of avoiding much during the pregnancy of my WAW with our second child and reading of your loneliness this morning triggered sadness in that I did so.

You are doing very well in the face of a very difficult and unfortunate situation and you will come out on the other side for the better.

(((((Cherry)))))

[Cherry]

Thanks SH. I feel I need the little hug.

It's hard, not going to lie. Plus the strange behaviour (face stroking in the night) does make me confused. Trying not to read into it, but it's strange.

Seeing that baby was so special though. Did make me happy

[SH_]

Odd behavior indeed.
Acknowledge that it befuddles you, but do let it pass and do not dwell on it. It provides nothing of value for you.

Do hang on to the feeling and good emotions of seeing the babe and hearing the little pitter patter of that precious heart. This provides a value of a priceless type for you.
(((Cherry)))

[Cherry]

Your right, it doesn't provide value. All it does is make me think and confuse me.

Yeah that's what is keeping me going. God has blessed me, now I shall prepare to welcome another child in my life. He is loosing out essentially on all these lovely scans. Being a mother is all I have ever wanted to do so I am so so excited and blessed. My focus is on my babies

[JksD]

(((Cherry)))

I am lurking but may not be able to post so much as I am fighting fire with kid's work and tests. Rather annoyed that the parents are supposed to do all the preparatory work with the kids.

[Cherry]

Hey grl. Thanks for the drive by, hope all goes well.

H finished work early due to an evacuation (he didn't know I know). A friend overtook his car about 10 mins away from home.

He came home three hours after this time- I thought I'd play dumb. I asked him had he worked late. He said he had an that he was going straight back out. He didn't ask how the hospital went. But I'm fuming. I know I should let it wash but I'm just too stressed out.

[Sotto]

Cherry, I'm sorry to hear this. It's always horrible to know you are being or have been lied to. It always used to give me that horrible sickly, draggy feeling in my stomach....ugh...I don't miss that for sure!

Now then, so you know that right now he is lying and probably doing stuff he doesn't want you to know about, which may involve OP in whatever way. Okay, that's not great - but it is where he is at right now. (((Hugs)))

Let's remember that you truly don't get to control the (currently poor) choices he makes, only how you respond. It is always up to you what you do - whether you choose to 'call' him on this, whether you choose to share a bed with him, live with him and so on. Every day it is always your choice what you do - whether you DB and choose to act 'as if.'

But I think the priority just now is to try and take the focus right off him. From what you post, he has little positive to offer you just now - yet you are still testing him and looking for things - only to be disappointed and hurt. Could you let him be for now and maintain a suitable boundary for you to feel emotionally safe do you think?

I'm not too worried about him just now and let's leave him to toss around in the wind, whilst we look after little one, baby and you. Xx

[Cherry]

Thanks sotto, I feel I've been starting to make progress. But I got so angry, I guess this is me still having expectations of him. And maybe I'm reading into his strange behaviour towards me.

But you are so right, I need to just leave him be. I need to get to that place

[PsySara]

I think it's time to separate sleeping quarters. I would not be comfortable with WH sleeping the same bed with me while communicating with OW and would not stand for that disrespect. I would calmly inform him I am aware he is not being honest (and do NOT tell him any details or the source of your intel) and tell him you need your space. It's time he stop eating cake. Please protect yourself and your babies. I got so stressed out during my pregnancy while WH was in R with OW that I was admitted to the CCU and now have permanent stress induced damage to my heart. I will require an ablation in the near future. I wish I had discovered Dbing sooner and had detached faster as it may have saved physical heart damage.

[Cherry]

Thanks sara, I think you're right. It would be time to put him in another room.

While snooping (oops) I noticed in his deleted pics, was all of our wedding pics. I'm not going to lie, it did hurt. But I tried doing some mindfulness of the situation. I acknowledged that yes, I was hurt, angry and upset. I let myself feel it, then tried to leap my brain into thinking about something else, rather than mull over all the extra thoughts that come alongside the discovery.

Yes I was hurt, but he doesn't care. And nor would he if I pointed this out. I guess it's all relative to his "I feel getting married was a mistake". When he threw that in my face I pointed out I was no ones mistake, and not to ever disrespect me and say that again.