That's so bittersweet. And it sounds like now that the D is getting closer and everything you guys have been through she is relaxing a little around you and the old friendship is able to come through again. Sounds like she is open to reconciliation somewhere down the line to even joke about it.
You guys seem like you could be one of those ex couples that go on to be the best of friends post breakup. And then who knows what happens in the future?
Funny, two Saturdays ago I went to a Daddy Diaper Party while she was at the Mommy's Baby Shower party for the same mutual friend couple. I talked on here about how I was hesitant to go, but went and had a good time. During this party, I spoke to a married mutual friend for some extended period of time about how his mother and father got divorced some 15 years ago, and they reconciled shortly after (less than 1 year), but never remarried. They've been happy together ever since, without the formalization of having "been remarried."
Oddly, she told me she had a conversation with the man I was talking to's wife, about the exact same thing. She almost seemed excited while she was talking about it, but I know that's not what I should be focusing on, and I'm not. I do have hopes that one day my W and I can have the best marriage in the cosmos, but that just won't happen if we both don't just continue to figure out ourselves on a deeper level.
When we were talking about this conversation, when it ended moreso, there was this long silent pause, where we just gazed into each other eyes. It was one of those moments stuck in time kind of thing (for me anyways, seemed that way for her too, but no way to know as I didn't ask questions), there was a connection there, like we both knew there could be something better, and we didn't have to be without each other to achieve it.
I do hope for this, but with the current state of "us." Lots of work needs to be done, and we'll just have to see how that goes before I see anything changing as far as committing back to "us" for the future. I think the vision is there, the thoughts have re-emerged, but strength to carry on will be the key. I have things I know I need to do, and she has to do the same... and if we both take care of this, we'll both be happy in the future, "with or without."
