Uncharted Waters

[2Times2Many]

Well, maybe the good work has been put on the shelf. I ripped off the duct tape.

As I said, H sent a text this morning that he had a bad night and was going to sleep in. I didn't fully buy that, but I figured I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. When BIL and a couple of employees asked where he was, I told them what he told me ... he was sick, had a bad night and wanted to get some sleep before coming to the office.

Job, it is so true ... just sit silently by and so much will be revealed to you.

About mid-morning BIL comes to me and says he just talked to H's Dad and asked that H bring something to the office and his Dad answered that H is not at the house ... he left early in the morning. He proceeds to say H left last night to help his friends get settled in a hotel and help them reschedule some cancelled flights. BIL inquired further ... did H spend the night downtown or come back to the house. FIL said he came home. BIL expressed his surprise to me about the lie about being home in bed.

Then H comes in around 2pm and proceeds to tell me how sick he was and his fever broke (he asked me several times last night to feel his forehead and did he have a fever ... uh, no) and he finally felt better ... blah, blah, blah. He went on and on about he woke up in a bed of sweat and how horrible the night was and the fever finally broke and he just needed to get some sleep. Total and complete lying to my face!

I left the duct tape in place and kept my mouth shut.

Then toward the end of the day, he said he wanted to come by the house after work so we could talk. At the house, he started talking about BIL and some of the stuff BIL had whined to him about. It ruffled my feathers and I was already in a bad mood from the lying stuff.

As the conversation continued, he began to come down on me about my responses to BIL's stuff.

I finally said I was sorry ... that I was in a bad mood today. He asked why.

Then the duct tape came off. I prefaced it with saying what he did in his life was his business and I didn't care. Then I called him out on his lying. I didn't accuse him of lying ... just told him what I knew. He started coming up with excuses and tried to make me out to be the unreasonable one.

He said he didn't know he had to be accountable to me and maybe he should have texted me about this and that ... absurd minute by minute stuff. I said no, he had no obligation to be accountable to me, but I felt like he misled me and I didn't understand why. He said he left the house at 9:30 and "ran some errands" before coming in and didn't think he had to check in with me. He said FIL must have been busy taking care of MIL and wasn't aware of when he left.

I wanted to ask what errands, but I didn't. I know.

I said I thought we had reached a point where we could be open with one another, but I felt like he misled me about why he was late and didn't understand why he felt the need to do that.

More excuses and more attempts to shift the issue to my "unreasonableness." I refused to let him do that. He finally said he wasn't "having fun" (I'm sure getting busted for lies is not fun) and left. I let him go.

I know that lying is part and parcel of MLC, but at this point I have no intention of letting him just blatantly lie to me. I just can't do it.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that was the worst thing I could have done at this point. IDK. I can understand lying about an affair and things like that. I can't understand lying about stupid stuff like taking care of friends in need. (That is the reason I wonder just who this gal is.) I don't think I've ever given him any reason to lie about something like that. Maybe in his eyes, I have. Who knows.

But the lying stuff .... if we are ever going to R and live together again, he has to understand that I won't put up with that. If he wants to continue to lie to me and/or mislead me, I don't want him back. In my mind, without honesty, there is no possibility of a relationship ... on any level.

Anyway, that's been my day. A total bust in DBing world, but what I need to maintain my self-respect.

If you add to that his behavior last night when we went to dinner with his parents? It was big time reply and somewhat embarrassing.

No, no, no. That's not the guy I want in my life.

I fully expect him to change his flights to leave in a day or two. I won't be disappointed. He needs a lot more baking time.