Question for the group here... I've been doing my best to follow the DB, but one thing that I'm concerned about (and was also mentioned by my Pastor and IC) is could it be seen as a form of silent approval of the Affair? ie not bringing it up, not challenging her, being nice but with boundaries... it's almost as if she can go off doing what she wants with no serious consequences (other than potentially losing her H, home, and having only part time with her D - which she seems to be content with)
W knows you don't approve of the A. If you challenge her, she'll back away. Remember, she's in a fog and doesn't want to be any more uncomfortable than her choices are already making her.
And with regard to the IC, Sandi may have other advice, but I don't think you can do anything about who W chooses to see. It's her choice and you can't insist that she do anything differently!
I regret my use of the word "insist" in an earlier post about family therapy. I suggested that you insist on it for D if you think it will help, but you can't insist or mandate that W join you. If you try to control or manipulate her she'll use that as a reason to leave, potentially.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
