Just working the process, but wondering when......

[cbtdad]

Yes uRworthy it is very hard to have patience. And I agree this needs to be done slowly this time around. I think we really rushed back into things last time and it didn't get to root of the problems. I know I have to be "good" with me first of foremost or this will not work, nor will any other R in the future, if I don't. I am very thankful that you have showed back up with my patience:)

Acc,
I completely understand and hear everything you are saying. It has me worried as well. It's why I question myself in this marriage a lot over the last 4 or 5 months. Its the reason I was contemplating walking out myself a few months ago. I then started to realize that she had shut herself down emotionally to me which then led to the shutting me down physically as well.
I don't think W will ever have my sex drive. It's something you either have or you don't. She also won't ever me in to "making out" or hand holding constantly. But I am ok with that as long as there is an effort. And that's the thing Acc, for about a 3 or 4 month stretch last year I saw what could have been. She was putting in the effort even though it isn't her LL. I don't expect her to ever put that first, but as long is she is trying is what I need. She would kiss me goodbye before I left, hug me when I got home. We were having great sex at least once a week.
There are so many other things that she does that makes me happy that as long as she is meeting me in the middle then I can be ok with that.
I do believe she had a foot out the door, so did I.
But I think she is now sticking her toe back in slowly.
She just finished her first semester of school today. So I am really going to pay attention the next month.
I agree with you on the moving out aspect if I don't see things continue to change. But overall they seem to be heady in the right direction.
We had some out of town guests last night so I stayed in MBR.
I didn't initiate anything, but noticed she got closer to me when I got in bed.
Everything I have read on verbal abuse seems to be playing out. It's just going to take time on my part.
I appreciate the advice as always and I see a lot of it in my situation.