Chapter 3. Let the detachment begin

[SH_]

I could not have said it any better than SH. Perhaps I am too suspicious. It just seems that it is a little too convenient. She didn't appear to have any fear when she wanted to move back under her own terms. The WW feels that she must give some kind of justifiable excuse for leaving a good man. So, she comes up with something like she is afraid of him, although, nobody else has seen any behavior from her H that would cause her to be afraid of him. It's one of those things that a WW can do that makes no sense. IMHO, this comes from her mindset of wanting to make her H the bad guy, while winning approval from others for herself.

Based on what you have told us, I think you should file this under believe nothing she says.

Thank you sandi2 for your vote of confidence in my feedback. It is a bit of an ego boost to be commended by a vet and someone who has paid it forward so much in this community.

bigy as I read sandi2's thoughts it made me also think of how my wife made many comments as she stormed off over the last 6 months how I only did things when she was angry and I was afraid of her anger. People use fear in many ways to control others.

Many in this community see your attachment to her reactions and behaviors. Maybe she see's it as well and throwing things out like she is fearful of you may be a way to control you, as she knows you will adjust behaviors favorable for her.

I know you through your story here, and I don't see you behaving in a way that causes fear in others, but I do perceive that if you thought you were causing fear in her, that you would adjust those behaviors any way you could and as fast as you could. Even so much so that she could tell you specifically what she would want and you might do it.
Maybe it's manipulative, maybe it's a way to justify that you are the bad guy as sandi indicates.
So now that I have gone in a circle, I will just agree with sandi and say chalk it up to believe nothing she says.