Me again Sweetie, then I'll stop bugging you I promise...

If you think about it, I don't think you are doing your sitch any favours. He has already had a PA and you have been willing to give things another go. Then he's having inappropriate contact with an OP and you are still there, hoping for reconciliation. And he still seems to think - well, I know she would want to ML to me, but I don't want to confuse her as I think I actually want a D at this point. I can see why he might think - well I can pretty much carry on having contact with other women and Cherry (and the family life) will still be there for me.

So, I guess my question would be - how does he come to fear the potential loss of Cherry. What is it that makes him worry - oh I've gone too far now?

If you are uncertainly hovering, hoping he will turn back to the M and not really setting strong boundaries on his behaviour. How is he going to know it is intolerable to you and that he may actually lose you and his family? (Please don't think in terms of you losing him - this is really about him potentially losing you - as you are the prize here...)

(((((Hugs))))

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus