Just updating/journaling. I had another meeting with the guardian attorney Thursday. She wanted to meet with the kids again and then her and I talked for awhile. I feel better after this meeting but she told me she still hasn't decided and wants me to email her later this week. She told me my s wants to stay at his school and was upset about leaving again but d is indifferent. She taked to me a bit about scheduling and said she would have recommended every other week if w hadn't moved. She also said that w wouldn't have to abide by her recommendation and she thought it would be best to set up mediation for the end of the month when she makes her decision. She wants me to update her later this week on how the transfer went (yesterday) and about my upcoming IC appointment. She recommended I continue conseling at our last meeting and seemed surprised when I told her I made an appointment with a new counselor when she asked about it. I decided to go, even if just monthly, as I'm holding a lot in and keep cycling through emotions (some days it feels like the wounds are fresh and reopened). I have been listening to a lot of podcasts and started a new book which has been helping me realize/reminding me what's going on with w and me but it's not always easy to hear/read and a lot seemingly doesn't apply. Mlc is a such strange beast.
S had a hard time yesterday when it was time to go. He started crying and wouldn't talk then started hitting his face on the sliding door and yelled at d. I got him calmed down and he seemed to be okay once we got going. I told w he was having a hard time when we met half way but she acted like I was making it up. I guess she doesn't want to hear it. She didn't look good either, it's crazy how she can look like she's doing well then 10 years older a few days later or vice versa.
They went to step in laws this weekend and w sent me 11 pics of the kids hiking in the mountains (places we used to go) and was friendly in her texts today. Maybe it brought up memories for her being back there, the pics did for me. Usually I only get one or two pics of the kids from her.
Kept busy today working on my car (oh the joys of British motoring). Hopefully I can finish it tomorrow. I wasn't looking forward to it at all but it kept my mind off things today and I'm saving a couple thousand so it's really not a bad thing.
