There are a few around who are in "piecing" here with varying amounts of success. Coconut is in the middle of it right now but has had a bit of a setback recently. LiM has a thread on piecing going right now too. A forum search for that word will find a few threads that will give you some hope that this does work.
On the other hand, a bunch of times it doesn't as well. That's why one of the big focuses here is on the LBH building themselves up to be able to survive whatever the next day may bring.
Sad story - I would occasionally feel hope especially when my WW was mid affair. Having it dashed hurt a lot so I would go for a walk and anytime I felt hope I would jump up and down stamping it down. Probably looked silly.
Last edited by Cadet; 07/15/1612:53 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Surfer - actually it's better, much better than it was during the A. Still nowhere near a reconciliation but I managed to wait out the A enduring a lot of pain thanks to a lot of support both here and from good friends.
Almost every day I can feel W getting closer to me, mostly in little things like a smile, a shared laugh etc. The disgust and disdain she showed me during the A is pretty much completely gone. I asked W to reconcile about 3 weeks after the A ended. She had still been going on about leaving (she started out as a WAW who never actually left). She said she needed to think about it and that was about 3 weeks ago and still no answer but I've not been pressuring her focusing on GAL and being independent.
Based on some pressure from my sisters in law I've gone completely dark on a visit to one of my brothers this weekend. "They" think it will help make W miss me and perhaps push her closer to deciding to reconcile - they know nothing about standard DBing even though this is one of the 180 techniques. It's been tough on me - but 180s tend to be tough. I haven't read your whole thread but I had been focusing on being a "lighthouse" which meant being there to support and help which was a role I was comfortable with because that was what I was regularly through our marriage.
As far as hope goes .... I still stamp it out whenever I see it. I've been disappointed too many times and I always doubt that what I think I'm seeing is real.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Surfer - actually it's better, much better than it was during the A. Still nowhere near a reconciliation but I managed to wait out the A enduring a lot of pain thanks to a lot of support both here and from good friends.
Almost every day I can feel W getting closer to me, mostly in little things like a smile, a shared laugh etc. The disgust and disdain she showed me during the A is pretty much completely gone. I asked W to reconcile about 3 weeks after the A ended. She had still been going on about leaving (she started out as a WAW who never actually left). She said she needed to think about it and that was about 3 weeks ago and still no answer but I've not been pressuring her focusing on GAL and being independent.
Based on some pressure from my sisters in law I've gone completely dark on a visit to one of my brothers this weekend. "They" think it will help make W miss me and perhaps push her closer to deciding to reconcile - they know nothing about standard DBing even though this is one of the 180 techniques. It's been tough on me - but 180s tend to be tough. I haven't read your whole thread but I had been focusing on being a "lighthouse" which meant being there to support and help which was a role I was comfortable with because that was what I was regularly through our marriage.
As far as hope goes .... I still stamp it out whenever I see it. I've been disappointed too many times and I always doubt that what I think I'm seeing is real.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
AndrewP sounds like there's some hope (however I see no hope in me using the 'quote' function properly - ha ha) - got to watch for that cake eating and stamp it out as you say (even if just stamping out any hope...). I think as Sandi says, you are really waiting for them to experience some loss/grief otherwise they will come back with be same problem. I see this loss as regret for the hurt and seeing the grass is not greener. If they don't see the grass is not greener and fully regret their actions and be willing to do anything to make it better what's the point in reconciling. You will only reconcile with the same possessed person. I'm not interested in this I don't want the alien. I want my wife. If she can't change she is not coming back. But I know for her to change will take a change of heart. I doubt she can do that though as she is so stubborn and always right even though she had the EA and left with D8 and S6. I am just working on making me and the kids more than happy and have just about kicked her into touch emotionally. She will have to win me back now. No longer in pursuit. Now distant. Problem is there is little chasing from her as yet. Only went dark 2-3 weeks ago though. She might not chase of course and on that basis I am free....;)
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
