Juju I am having a lot of the same thoughts as you. I have met a number of divorced men this passed year and all of them claim their wives ended it. After some discussion with one of these men I came to find that he was checked out of the marriage for a long time and the first time she mentioned D he took it and ran with it. He really thinks he's the good guy in all of this because evident cheat and stuck around even though he hated her and only stayed for their kid. But then he bragged about getting a girlfriend the next day. That disgusted me. Especially the pride he took in how he handled things. Really has no idea that he played a part. He got mad when I told him that I imagine my exes story probably doesn't sound much different than his

The other stories I've heard the men seemed as blindsided as me. There was an om that one wife had to pursue that ended up falling apart after a few years. It took about 5 years and a disastrous rebound relationship for him to finally get to the place where he can have a respectful coparenting relationship with her and now they speak well of each other but happy with their d.

Then there is a young newlywed couple where the wife seemed overwhelmed with the reality of married adult life and pulled the rug out from under him while he was focused on building that life. He is still angry but he hasn't been out of it for very long.

There are lots of stories and it is interesting to hear the male perspective. I'm definitely not ready to trust yet. I have to learn to trust myself first. But I like to investigate and it is nice to have companionship. Not wanting to fall in love or become committed to someone has made dating a lot more fun.

I know you aren't ready yet, but when you are remember there are lots of different reasons to date, and falling in love does not have to be one of them.

40s 2teens M14Y
BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14
BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14
EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues
Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15
D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17