Newby here, desperate for some advice

[AndrewP]

JRuss - one thing to consider - this was a comment I heard from my W years ago about a friend of her's whose husband was also a lawyer and how they had problems communicating. Work hard on not using your "lawyer voice" when talking to your W. Most people can find that confrontational and intimidating. Perhaps find another voice, that of a caring friend who wants to listen to use.

Also - yes - you are a lawyer - but I'm sure you don't want to have a fool for a client ;-) Just because the law says one thing about how a D works doesn't mean that is the way it goes once the process starts. In our area we have a process called "collaborative law" where the parties negotiate out an equitable settlement. It may or may not work for you but would be worth exploring. One thing that I learned in my own research is that there are lots of options available and everything is open to negotiation. In fact one main thing I felt after my own research is that divorce is less a legal issue than a commercial one.