Look Forward & Ignore the Anger Spew

[J5K]

Do all WAW's and especially the ones that are heading for divorce and should really be called STBX try to validate their decision and guilt by blaming the other spouse for everything?

Rich,

Mine has done the same as yours, blamed me for everything.

I continue to read saddening stories here and whether it is the WAH or WAW it seems to be a sickness. Now...I don't dare say that there isn't responsiblity all around the relationship and many times it isn't 50/50, but it just is driving me crazy about how my STBX hasn't just "moved on". And by that I mean not point out with every fight or discussion that goes sour between us while we are still co habitating finding a little nugget to point out that "yeah...that is another reason we are getting divorced....cuz you did this n that."

Me....I don't point that stuff out anymore unless i am playing defense and still usually just walk away at this point. I am cold to that game and having to defend myself as i am good with what i have tried in terms of rekindling or salvaging our R and family. guilt is a horrible thing I guess....


Whats funny in a sad way is that she I am a narcasistic. Anything she can grab onto! And while I would like to admit I am "something" so I can fix it easily :-), a narcassist is the last thing anyone probably would call me...who knows me

She actually is the one who is constantly looking for admiration and one of the biggest issues I have had with her that has pushed me away is her inability to handle any criticism from anyone. Constantly in battles and drama and has the "no i didn't" and "not my fault" disease....blaming others....


(Narcassist: Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement.)

I can only hope I can put up with her for the sake of my daughter and keep things civil as we raise her. My daughter will lean towards the WAW initially as we split houses and I can only hope she sees through all of this as she grows.

Mine has also called me a narcissist.

I wonder if your W went to the same school or read the same books as they were planning their exit strategy. Hang in there. My sitch may be a little farther along than yours. I can tell you that days will get better and less confusing. Mine is still deep in the fog and continues to be selfish to put herself before her family.