I wonder sometimes if I took that pressure off of him, let him know that I have my own friends and interests now and that I can accept that he can have his, if I let go of the Bubbles issue, just really let it go (I don't have to be friends with her), if that would give him any freedom to make a different decision?
I'm realizing that I'm going to have to be one of those people that has to just let D happen.
This is what I did - just let go and accepted that he would do what he would do and I didn't really get to influence that - other than not doing 'pushing away' things. I think the best plan is to truly try and release this, to not try and show him anything or say anything. Because if you are doing those things, you are still trying to use strategies to control an outcome I think.
I do think your H still seems rather conflicted, but equally he's currently on a path towards D. A path that he already knows you don't want. So if he wants to get off it he will, and if he doesn't he won't. The best plan is to work towards the life you want regardless of him IMHO.
I'm always conscious that I'm posting from the perspective of being divorced now. But I also feel I have tried hard to save our M and would have considered trying to save it right to the bitter end if that had been on the table. In my sitch it wasn't, but who knows how things will unfold for any of us.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
