Newby here, desperate for some advice

[JRuss]

Thanks, doodler. I am pretty sure I'd have an easier path to personally feeling better were my W to move out. But I just want to vomit every time I think of losing half of my kids' childhoods, them having to move back and forth all the time, and so I keep riding the status quo.

Also, that's a really great thought regarding detachment. Maybe just accepting that detachment is a byproduct of the changes I'm making that will show up when/if it's time would be a healthier way of looking at things than with the idea that I need to focus on detaching and affirmatively striving to make it happen.

You are a good person who helps a lot of people here.