Newby here, desperate for some advice

[JRuss]

Thanks, lfm. I know there's no magic bullet, but it is really nice to hear from someone else out there who's dealing with similar circumstances. I know I should be doing what you outline, but I really suck at it. I really struggle not to be hopeful and results-oriented, but this is our family's life we're talking about. I'm not sure how I ever get past the fear, worry and terrible hoping things will change.

Is anger the way? Sometimes I feel tremendous anger welling up inside me toward her. I get so angry that someone to whom I've given almost half of my life, with whom I've built a life and family with two great kids who deserve a lot better, would, without ever trying MC or even just devoting some meaningful time and energy to working on our marriage, blow it all up, put me and our children through a divorce . . . In those moments, I WANT to detach and do it easily. But I can't see how being so mad is helpful if the overarching hope is keeping the marriage together.

Anyway, thanks again for the post and support. I hope things go well with you and your family.