Newby here, desperate for some advice

[lfm]

JRuss - I'm in the same boat, still live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, share meals, etc. Our kids don't seem to have any indication that anything is wrong, and I find it very difficult to dettach. I still think about my W a lot (probably more than I should under the current circumstances).

I've recently what works for me is to treat her as a friend or roommate. I am trying very hard not to bring up the relationship or future of anything. I really try to stay to my side of the bed, no touching of any kind. As others have said try to be the lighthouse needed in the relationship. Show her you are happy and strong. Anything other than that will push her away. I don't kiss her hello or goodbye I don't try to hold her hand, I sit away from her as much as possible.

I have to admit there are times where it's extremely difficult - a trigger goes off in my mind or she leaves suddenly, bringing back emotions that I've tried to deal with. When that happens I just wish her well, tell her to have fun and don't say anything when she gets home unless she starts the conversation.

I don't know if that helps much, seems like our circumstances are simmilar, but doing those things have helped me dettach a bit. I still have plenty of work to do, but feel like I'm getting stronger with each passing day.