I am sad about the dog, losing a precious pet is heartbreaking, more so if it's a mate.
A change of job will be good for WW I think so. It would help you all if she had more cash too. It might also be that new folks won't know about the OM too.
Who knows, new jobs mean new focus.
Lovely RD, I think things may be getting lighter for you.
Big hugs
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hi Lady V. Losing my dog was heartbreaking He's been in the family for 13 years and was a wonderful lad. Truly a great guard dog but a big puppy at the same time.
I might repeat the date , not sure I did think the lady was good fun but we will see
WW will do what she will do. Kids have mentioned she's much more like her old self and that's greet for them. I do hope she finds happiness but want that is for her , who knows
I have felt more detached recently and it's nice. I still get those ' how did this happen ' moments and can't help thinking I've wasted a large part of my life on her but that can't be changed now
I have felt more detached recently and it's nice. I still get those ' how did this happen ' moments and can't help thinking I've wasted a large part of my life on her but that can't be changed now
RD, just because you aren't together now does not mean the time you were with W was a waste. It absolutely wasn't. You loved each other once, you shared a good life, you made a home, you have beautiful children together. The last couple of years don't negate that.
The 26 years I spent with mr p were not a waste. I don't like how it ended, but it was a good life. The five months I spent with MyNica were not a waste. I came up with a lot of revelations in those five months. Don't re-write.
Hi Sunny. I understand what your saying but I do think it was a waste I could have been with someone who I could grow old with and enjoy the grandchildren ( hopefully) together with. Instead I now will be enjoying them 1/2 the time ? And avoiding conflict with WW or at best changing times so we don't turn up together
I do see it as a waste also because she's not who I thought she was and I could have found a better match. I think I've told you about the girl that I should have married and there would have been others
So , for me, it was a waste , I wouldn't change it because of my kids but if I could go back before them and change things , I certainly would
Rd, I am at a stage where I see and appreciate the good times for what they were, even when I don't feel very kindly towards the x.
I guess part of it is to make myself feel better - I was not such a bad person after all.
On the other hand, I also know that if I hadn't let myself be talked back into the R prior to marriage, I could easily have chosen any other suitors and still be happily married now. Even a meh marriage (which wouldn't have stayed that way forever) is better than what I had to go through and where I am at now.
And so I swing continually between the 2 states of mind. I am starting to find that they are not so mutually exclusive after all. Hopefully, I will be at rest one day.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Hi JksD. Thanks for posting. It not I don't appreciate the good times because most of it was good. WW constantly still says she was in love and happy with our R. + M and doesn't know what she's doing Her initial list of complaints has been apologised for by her lots of times now
I loved WW with all my heart and now see I could have been a better H BUT regardless of all that I still feel I've wasted a huge part of my life due to the reasons I gave Sunny.
I'm from a broken home and can't have my parents together at family events They are cordial enough but the tension is horrible so years ago we made sure they don't meet I'm now in that boat with WW and I never wanted to be and feel I wouldn't have been if I had chosen better
I met WW when I was 24 and she was 22. We were together 2 years before she insisted ( ultimatum) that we got engaged and got married 5 years later. We weren't kids and chose a life together as adults. Now we are were we are and it will cause issues until one of us passes. Ive no doubt things will get easier with time but it will never be normal again and that's why the years together were a waste Plenty of good things came out of those years togebter but still a waste in my opinion
Hi lovely RD. I can understand what you say about wasted years....but I'm not sure I entirely agree and I'm trying to work on this area. At this point, it's hard for me not to feel that marrying XH was a mistake. After all, we had a shortish M which failed. However, we had some great times and I'm trying to take a balanced view looking back. Our M was largely happy for me. I didn't like the ending, but the rest does stand for what it was in terms of my life journey so far.
It can be easy to look at others and to think 'I married the wrong person. But who knows how any R would have unfolded had you taken a different path. I'm sure if we met someone else, they would bring their own set of talents and irritations to the table as would we. We are all essentially flawed (and perfectly imperfect) beings after all.
So, I'm working on trying to remember the joy and looking back on the whole experience in a balanced way - trying not to let the trauma of the ending erase the beginning and the middle. It's a work in progress, but I'm trying to do this for me and I don't want to feel that I 'wasted' years on a 'mistake.' Actually, I feel I made the best decisions I could make given where I was at the time. I'm in a different place now and would probably make different decisions, but that's fine and I have grown since that time too.
Anyway....hope there may be something useful for you my lovely online pal xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
