Rd, I am at a stage where I see and appreciate the good times for what they were, even when I don't feel very kindly towards the x.

I guess part of it is to make myself feel better - I was not such a bad person after all.

On the other hand, I also know that if I hadn't let myself be talked back into the R prior to marriage, I could easily have chosen any other suitors and still be happily married now. Even a meh marriage (which wouldn't have stayed that way forever) is better than what I had to go through and where I am at now.

And so I swing continually between the 2 states of mind. I am starting to find that they are not so mutually exclusive after all. Hopefully, I will be at rest one day.

You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.