5 years after BD

[Rick1963]

I have been battling depression again. I know that once one has had it, got over the depression is likely to happen again with a life event.

I have been dealing with a boss thats,a bully. Not just me but many at work. So it's not me. Otherwise I would have to be honest and say it is my issue. In the midst of her criticism she tells me how happy and appreciative she us to have me work there.

Last week I reacted and sent a nasty email to her HR and the CEO. Yesterday she wanted to discuss in supervision. So I unloaded professionaly. It was ugly.

Since my divorce I have been looking at me inside and out.

I have learned that I don't like conflict. That I must make myself angry to tell you how I feel. Especially if I feel your are mistreating me.

Secondly my fear of losing my home. It is really killing me. Which is connected to my work problems.

The losing my home stems from my parents moving from one country to another. At least 5 times but can't remember. So the belief that I can lose my most stable place for past 13 is also a factor. I managed to keep the place after the divorce.

Sadly it all boils down to fear..fear..and the need for stability.

I'm really happy that I can put my thoughts here. Been feeling really overwhelmed latetly.

The good thing is that I have really good things happening work wise and otherswise. Getting my own business going is one of them. So things are not as bad as I think they are.

Just needed to put it here