Not sure what to do

[CT1118]

Andrew and everyone I believe. I have had so much to read today to try and come to an improved understanding. I am thinking this may be one of the hardest things I will ever go through and my life has not been too easy (see above about quitting drugs). I believe You hit a hard point Andrew in that she is willing to date me as well as others. That is what I see, and she said as much. While we have not had any sexual contact I know know that would be a horrible yield of myself to her if I did (via Sandi2's via Sandi2's stuff). I did try going on a date via the advice of other websites and I did not like it-felt like I was lying to myself about my life right now. Still, it did feel a tiny bit gratifying to ask a woman out and her agree, human experience I suppose.
I have learned from you all in the past few days that I am not too late, which was my biggest fear. However, that I have been approaching things not entirely wrong, but mostly. As well, and again from Sandi2s stuff, that this is not about the AP as much as it is about my WW and my focus was poor in this regard. I am also kicked in the crotch by how true all this has been about keeping me around for the security and the AP for the emotional experience. I had already known I was emotionally unavailable (I was on drugs and hid it from her, so no brainier there), but the security part never occurred to me. Lastly, I just employed a Wonka validating statement technique via text (she contacted first) and it went well.
Long day ladies and gentlemen, but thanks. Seriously, finding this site has been the first time in months since Calling her out that I have not felt like I'm lost but trying to tell myself I'm not.