I hope you're up for a reality check cause here it comes. Three months is a sneeze, it'll take years if you want to save your M. Throw away the calendar, live in the moment and do everything you can to become a more loving human being. Love being defined in terms of being more accepting, appreciating, allowing, forgiving and affectionate, forgiving too.
If you want to save your marriage you have to take the focus off your W and work on the man in the mirror. What are YOU responsible for, what can YOU do to heal and become a more loving spouse. Filing for D is not going to save your M. If you really want to save it, then every move you make should be with that end goal in mind.
You and your W will never get BACK together. But you can forge a new relationship based on intimacy. Intimacy in terms of being able to accept each other for exactly who each of you are, without conditions.
By fast-tracking your D you're missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Try to view this crisis as a calling for you to become the fully human male that you were born to be. Work on your stuff, and give your W the space she needs to work on her stuff. You will not believe the miracles that wait for you when you just let go.
My W dropped the bomb on me in 2000, we separated in 2001, reconciled in 2005. It took several years beyond 2005 for us to forge the awesome R we have now. We grew apart, then together, and I could not have imagined our M could possibly be as good as it is now. I lived through hell my friend but I'd do it again in a heart beat. My family stayed together, I blossomed into a man, and my W into a woman.
I was a regular here on DB for a good four years or so back in the day. You've got a real opportunity to grow here brother but you can't rush the healing process. The sooner YOU heal, grow and mature, learning the message this crisis has brought you, the sooner you two can move forward together.
One day at a time!
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
