Quote: My intuition tells me this is her idea of a friendship going forward. An hour or two once a month or so. This is her attempt at rebuilding our friendship. She of course has a variety of feelings still, but unsure what they are. If I go along this path with her will this lead to further warm and fuzzies, enough for her to attempt reconciliation? Not sure. I'm willing to be her friend only on my terms. That is what is good for me right now. The first term is her not seeing OM. I can't support that and I won't support her while she is seeing him. The second term is her being recognizing her part in this and efforts to attempt to reconcile. Beyond that I don't want anything to do with her. That is how I feel given how I've been treated and my sincere attempts to improve have been treated.
Could have written this myself, Seattle.
I understand what you mean about having terms for friendship and conflicts with the OP situation. Friendship is a two-way street and has requirements, as people so frequently remind me over on my thread. You've got every right to define what that means to you and uphold the bar where you need it to be.
Betsey raises a good question, too.
Quote: Although this is how I would like to be communicated with, I'm reminded of the 5LL. This may not be the most "effective" way to communicate with her. Is this a gender thing?
It might not be the most effective with her, you're right. But I don't think it's a gender thing (or perhaps I just need to switch genders?)... it's an individual thing.
