Jruss, thanks for the encouragement and sharing your struggles. I've been going this journey alone for near five years now wondering about the poss A. Confronted him directly several times and got lies and reassurances that made me more crazy since my guts were right! It's only when he turned to booze to cope with his double life that things blew up. We separated after his suicide attempt and psych admission since he wouldn't stop drinking. So all along the way I was, yes desperate, and trying to be the good wife and keep us together. I'm thankful I found all of you and this forum and hope it's not too late for me. I hate who I've become over all this, it's not who I was prior. He loved me for my no drama independence and love for him as he was. He was and is a damaged survivor of incest with emotionally stunted parents and was over three fifty pounds. I saw the real guy. Now all I see is hurt, my hurt and want things back to normal. I Know that's not possible, at best it could be a new normal. I am mourning my losses and making my share of mistakes along the way. I want to cry but can't. I see my C tomorrow and alanon tomorrow too. Anyway, I appreciate you stopping by Jruss.
Me54 WH48 S18 D16 M 22 T 24 EA-PA-EA 2011-2015 Separated 10/14 - 06/15 BD1 02/14 BD2 05/16 BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again Working on me and liking me again
