Emotional Availability and Detachment

[Underdog]

Holy cow, Seattle! Look at what happens when you stay in the bat cave for so long?

Okay, I have lots of thoughts running through my mind now. But you have 2 opposing thoughts going here and I guess I really want to explore how you feel before we venture into the realm of me thinking your W is rethinking all this stuff. My question really is about you...

Okay, you mentioned all the interesting things she has said which certainly sound as though she is reconsidering her R with you at whatever level she feels can be possible.

But in your bottom paragraph, you indicate that you don't want to deal with the craziness anymore.

You know I certainly understand that, and you are definitely allowed to act on the latter if you feel that this is absolutely true. That being said, are you willing to really hang on, be more patient, and be her friend until she is able to be more forthcoming with answers? (and knowing you still might not like them?)

I guess I want to push a button here and find out how amenable you are to spending more time on the DB path.

HOWEVER (you knew that was coming, didn't you?)...

I see some major league baby steps here in her communication with you. Hey, back in April she didn't want to talk to you at all, let alone make any R statements or even statements that would segue into R talk, right?

And now this stuff is pouring out of her mouth freely?

Methinks that your strategy is working, my dear.

When she says all this hooey about not believing in marriage or not wanting another R, how do you respond?

Have you visited Jerry G's thread in newcomers lately? I think it's worth a quick click up there to see his latest, as you might find some nuggets to use yourself.

In the meantime, I am encouraged by this softening in her. The big question is can you handle her as the package you see right now? Knowing she has a lot of healing to do?

Big hugs, my friend. I've missed you!

Betsey