Guilt is all I can say. Finally texted H telling him what he really thought about him. I needed to do as it was boiling inside me for the last 17 months. I do feel better and feel I have move one step forward! After my text H did get me something on behalf of the kids. I wasn't expecting it, so I thanked him. I have been blessed with my friends today, and it was a huge boost to feel appreciated.
IC session was very interesting as I was very angry. She understands that I want him to pay for what he has done, but she pointed out that all negative energy isn't well used! She also told me that I need to accept what the situation is, then move on! H may never file for D as maybe him and OW are happy as they are. She said I need to do things with dignity and that I should stop wanting H to pay for wharf he has done. She added he'll probably never regret what he has done! On this one I TRULY believe her! So where am I at? I don't really know, only that everyday is getting easier and i feel slightly happier each say. I know for sure I don't want to file as I want H to once in his life to take responsibility for his actions, and it's too expensive. But I don't think I want him back! It's a weird place to be in! I guess I'll leave it to God and enjoy each day as it comes.
