Newby here, desperate for some advice

[JRuss]

No worries, LiM. I hope your sitch resolves itself in a way that makes you happy/at peace.

In my own sitch, things have settled down quite a bit. No more talk of W moving out, no R talk at all for ~ two weeks, really. I'm just trying to use this forum, talks with my Dad, Sister and best friend, as well as IC to be the outlets for what's going on inside me, with the hope that this can keep me from bringing up the R with W. I'm GALing (going to a meditation group after work, exercising) and trying to be positive and (outwardly) happy when at home. That last part is hard -- I'll see her for the first time in awhile, and my knees still go week. A couple of times over the past couple of days, she's voluntarily given me a squeeze she didn't have to give me, so maybe that's promising. She kissed me on the cheek last night before turning the light off to go to sleep. What do you do DB-wise in those circumstances? They were each done before I realized they were happening, so I couldn't have pulled away even if I wanted to. This stuff is hard and plays into my over-active, analyze everything nature something awful.

I'm also knowing that this calm may very well not last, and she could at any time decide it's time to start talking about how we're going to "consciously decouple" to borrow Gwenyth Paltrow's phrase. When we last discussed, that was what she said she wanted -- to take the next 1-2 years, go slow, but ultimate split in a way that minimizes the hurt/damage to the children. I of course don't want this, at all; but, at the time, she was talking about moving out pretty much immediately, so I viewed that as a modest improvement.

Any advice should she bring that up as to what I should say/how I should play it? It is hard wondering when/if that shoe is going to drop. In the meantime I'm going to do what I'm doing and continue to look for more GAL opportunities. I'm trying to start volunteering for Habitat for Humanity but can't get the coordinator to call me back. LOL.