I'm in a similar spot although in my case (I believe - she doesn't talk to me about it) that my WW is done with her A. My W doesn't show any remorse or guilt either which is why I think she's still stuck in the fog even though the A is (probably) over. I've been counseled by people who know W to be very patient which I struggle with.
The reality is for me that I'm doing your option 1. It's tough to be a lighthouse and stand strong when you feel like doing something / anything to "fix" what's wrong. I presume like me you've gotten a lot of advice from well-meaning people to give up and move on - some of it in my case rather strongly worded.
I did actually do a version of your option 2 about 3 weeks ago. I wrote W a letter and used the phrase that I would wait a "reasonable amount of time" when asking her if she would reconcile or leave rather than a specific day. She seems to be dragging things out as sandi2 suggests but it did make a change. Prior to me giving her that letter W talked in a very focused way on moving out but never actually did anything much to my frustration and I presume to the frustration of all of her friends and family who have been encouraging, supporting and enabling her for the last 6 months.
For my own sanity I've gotten your option 3 planned out including identifying and meeting with a L and getting the paperwork started. That way if I need to act, I can act quickly without having to figure it out under the stress and pain that would be happening.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
